These days I dwell on the idea that a picture does paint a thousand words. Sometimes these words get painted on your lips. Sometimes other images get imprinted into their minds. Kinda like a juxtaposition, kinda like multiple exposures all mashed into one. I wonder too what i’m trying to tell you.
Habits within each fibre of my being and without habits am I still me? Habits revisited. Habits stuck, contemplated, and then it’s out. It’s out there when you speak it, in your breath. It’s somewhere now with the winds. The moment i speak of it it’s out of my system. Good habits. I should save some room for good habits. It’s about time.
Rebuilding, retracted. Then trying. I am a vessel that keeps on going. But sometimes I just need to stop and “quietly drop my weight into your sea” (read: Silently by Blonde Redhead)
First impressions and built identity. And a reputation you might not expect back then. But you like it. Sometimes you reiterate it with your choices. Then you struggle with it for a long time. You decide to be a good person but they tell you there’s no winning in being good. How many times should you take one step forward and two steps back? Who are you really?
Everyday everyone bring news. Old news, new news. And everytime you hear something new you retreat back further and further because no news is good news. We agree.
Imagining a family without knowing. Its not broken or dysfunctional and there is peace inside. How does one build something from scratch without knowing? The thoughts that visit us once in a while in the dead of the night get brought to life– that’s a legitimate fear.
In the end, it’s a never ending struggle. It’s learning how to balance. How to cope and how to fix. At the end, the only person who can fix me is quite possibly myself. 🙂