Striking a balance between expectations and reality

Every relationship is like a curve. No two persons have the same experience in love (maybe that’s too strong a word). Some curves are steep, quick and furious. Some gradual, taking time. Some curves go out and get erased while others keep going on and on. But with all curves, there are plateaus, there are downs and there are ups again. That’s one hell of a curve.

Initially getting into a relationship for me is a steep curve. I adapt quickly, I learn quickly and i try to get to falling in love quickly. I’m like that. And i think as i ease into it, i wouldn’t say i start to overlook certain things, its more like accepting and loving those things that i might have found less appealing. My bf calls it getting comfortable. Not in a bad way, of course.

This feeling also makes you fantasize about the future. I would think the want to get married is somewhat in me. Perhaps 70% of females think the same way i do. After almost 6 good years, i find myself learning more and more about myself and my boyfriend. For the good that you know about each other, there will be bad things too. Learning and adapting, learning and loving more and more.

Sometimes i look at myself — I enjoy sleeping til noon and i enjoy quiet afternoons at home (i must be a grandma) Lately I wake up and ask myself if i would trade this for a life with children. Then i brush it aside because i leave it to God. I know moms tell me its a blessing to be one. I know girls… i have a mom too. Heh. I’ll ease into it when its right for me. I’m honestly happy where we are. The best lesson is never to compare. People may be unhappy in their private lives too but we will never know.

The reality is marriage and family is held together by love, yes and a good foundation to begin. A good 2 feet (or 4) on a foundation of good worldly knowledge, similar principles, religion (shoutout to the old me! :p), and.. money. How can you sit on fancy weddings whims with dreams? The horror is when no one is communicating to each other about where they stand in this. I’m not saying we need to divulge everything, but to have a good grasp on where we stand together.

My boyfriend, did ask me. It was cute but it must mean something to him because he got me a nice ring. (Ok ill stop here, I’m actually an extremely private person). We knew nothing about marrying then. We just knew we will one day. I don’t need 99 roses or a serenade to be asked for my hand. I just need… a man who will get along well enough for my parents to like him. Because i believe so much in parental blessings.

It was exciting applying for our house. I remember checking out of Sydney when he called to tell me the news. Within 6 months, we took on a pretty big responsibility. It’s our plan slowly taking shape.

You see, our curve is a gradual one with ups and downs, and ups again. My curve has never stopped and started on any clean slate. (I don’t believe in that) Its not perfect. Its not easy, honestly but its not difficult either. I get mad but i dont stay mad. We try to eliminate and change the bad things in life and try to be the best for each other. And when i finally tie the knot, i pray its the right thing in life to do.. even if it may be one of the few things i get right in life.


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