Up until today im still doing some soul searching and self realisation when it comes to religion and practising it. Having born into it, I dont think I have ever once questioned why and how it was so hard for me at some points to commit myself physically.
I know that religion is non negotiable but Allah swt is all-forgiving and all-understanding.
How can and how have I taken that for granted?
Growing up, I watched my parents pray, fast and perform pilgrimage. I took my first Quran reading lessons up til primary sch but Ive never understood a single word. I never blamed them for not instilling that same will in me and may God forgive them and bless them always.
And of course there were periods of times, I fall short in all my duties. I failed to be steadfast. I’ve had too many regrets but too few to mention right now.
This year, I experienced a small turning point. I read every word and most interpretation of my Quran to find the simplest yet most beautiful meaning to our existence and our next. I made prayers for myself, asking God to help me. And in my whole life, for once, I felt His help. He made me less lazy, less ignorant, more loving and more patient.
It is simple. Religion is simple.
Just pray. Beg if you need to. Pray that you will not be lazy to perform the prayers everyday. Pray that your heart opens up to do all the right things and to abstain from the wrong. Start with a simple prayer and build your practice around that faith.